


I don't know what to name this

by i_write_crack_fics



Category: League of Legends
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26718949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_crack_fics/pseuds/i_write_crack_fics
Summary: This is a crack fic, inspired by cornonjacob. it's short and it's stupid but i felt like writing it so hello.
Relationships: Aphelios/Sett (League of Legends)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Sett saves the environment

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sett Gets Even](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23784445) by [Cornonjacob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornonjacob/pseuds/Cornonjacob). 



After a day of beating people up with his overpowered W, Sett decides to go on a jog at his nearby park. He goes naked, because he’s the Boss and if the police arrest him on charges of public indecency he will just beat them up with his overpowered W. He puts on his headphones and listens to some MCR, his favorite band of all time. He is just getting in the mood when he passes some emo dude peeing in the bushes with really bad posture. He’s about to use his overpowered R on the bitch because he is disrespecting the environment, and his ma loves the environment, but then Sett gets a good look at the guy’s pp.  
“Wowza! That’s a nice pp you got there!” he says with a cowboy accent. The guy looks up and Sett gasps because he looks just like Gerald, the guitarist in Sett’s favorite band, MCR. He’s also got sick tats and really wide shoulders (is that just his jacket I literally can’t tell) that are hunched forward in an unhealthy way, like he spends too much time looking at his phone. Immediately, Sett feels his own kung pow penis triple in length and double in girth, effectively increasing the volume by a factor of 12 if you look at his kung pow penis as a geometric cylinder. The guy doesn’t say anything and with his disgusting posture, he gazes intensely at the Boss with his dark eyes, which are about the size of Asian people’s eyes but if the Asian people were squinting really hard. He licks his nose seductively and Sett lets out a super manly growl in his cowboy accent.  
They kiss because that’s a thing people do, and it’s gay because they’re both men. And then they have tons of buttsex with Sett’s hand around his throat, emo dude chokes out “wowza, your kung pow penis is really stretching my kung pow butthole” in a soft femboy kitty owo voice, and Sett cums so hard he immediately crushes emo dude’s trachea, killing him as hard as possible. But that’s okay because emo boy comes back as a ghost, except Sett doesn’t realize he’s a ghost because he is just that fucking pale. And then Sett beats him up for disrespecting the environment so he can go home and tell his ma that he beats up the orphans in his orphanage for orphans when they disrespect the environment. So Aphelios goes back to the underworld and he and his sister eat expired flowers and get gas for the rest of eternity.


	2. Sett destroys the environment

Sett gets bored and horny one day and decides to go to the club. The business owner says they’re closed (something about a virus or something) but Sett just uses his overpowered R to kill the business owner and four bartenders, instantly earning him a penta kill. Once Sett finishes using his overpowered R, he takes over the business and remodels the place because the previous owner had a terrible sense of interior design and Sett’s ma taught him better than to fuck up your feng shui with chairs full of shit. Then he opens it up without a mask enforcing rule and single handedly doubles the total number of covid cases in Ionia. Then he catches the disease and fucking dies.   
After he dies, he finds hentai fueled walking edgelord eating poisonous flowers with his sister, and he is reminded of his borednyness (boredness and hornyness). But this time he is a gentleman and asks emo boy, who looks more like that guy from Fall Out Boy than he does Gerald at this point, for consent. Then edgelord shakes his head no and sett gets so mad that he punts emo boy right back into the land of the living. Then he uses his very strong thighs that could crush my head like a watermelon to jump back to the land of the living himself and starts fingering aphelios, his versatile and agile fingers dancing in hentai boy’s soft femboy kitty owo asshole and aphelios is embarrassed because it’s nighttime and his sister is probably on the moon watching them through a telescope. “Wow, your asshole is really deep”, says Sett in a cowboy accent.   
“owo” says emo boy and sett feels his bowels move involuntarily; aphelios and sett shit themselves and cum, helping sett decimate an entire town with the force of his digested chipotle dinner and getting like 100 assists from a single episode of explosive diarrhea cum. And I’m talking a shit ton of shit. Like this shit is not even solid anymore it just instantly sublimed into gas which then increased the atmospheric pressure so much that sett got another 2000 kills and aphelios another 2000 assists because sometimes your support steals all your kills (like that one time this kid tried swain for the first time and he did really well but was an annoying ass bitch the whole time which made me irrationally angry because i was throwing as aphelios).   
Then Sett’s explosion rockets them off the earth and makes him accidentally click Q, allowing him to approach the moon 30% faster. Also he accidentally clicked his E, breaking both of their faces. But before they get there they see a giant dragon who looks very scawy. And he attacks them both and does like. 3 damage total. And then they freeze over, not because space is a cold vacuum of nothingness, but because it hates gay people and sett and aphelios were not wearing socks. So now sett and aphelios are frozen naked men covered in frozen shit that is not even a solid anymore in the space along with jarvan and xin zhao who also forgot to bring socks.


End file.
